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Kate Farrow, director of learning at everywoman, explains how to find career and life happiness by leading yourself
We all know a good leader when we see one. But what does it look like when someone is leading themselves well, and what are the benefits of this?
People who successfully lead themselves are totally in control of their own energy, moods and positivity and they encounter less stress. They don’t need external validation and you can sense the freedom they gain from their self-belief.
If you can master a few simple actions on a daily basis, leading yourself will also make those other hats you wear in life – mum, dad or employee, for example – much easier to manage.
Leading yourself is all about taking personal responsibility, building your resilience and flexing your emotional intelligence.
You might think that you do all of those things already, but do you really? When you have a difficult conversation with an employee, friend or partner, do you look at what actions you took that contributed to the difficulties?
Leading yourself starts when you first open your eyes in the morning. Set your intentions for the day – who do you want to be today, how do you want to show up for those around you, what do you choose to feel?
Of course, none of us choose to feel unhappy, stressed and overburdened, but do we choose the opposite? Do we choose to feel calm, excited, even joyful?
Take 10 minutes every day to set your intentions. If it is easier, write your intentions down so that all you have to do is pick up a notepad or sticky note in the morning and read your intentions to yourself. For example, an intention could be: “Today I choose to feel curious.”
If you do a flyby kitchen visit on the way to your desk every morning to pick up a caffeinated beverage, think about how you can make it more intentional.
Or if you take a 15-minute shower every morning before work, how can you make it more of a treat for yourself, such as splurging on a lovely scented shower gel or moisturiser?
Throughout the day there will always be niggles – an annoying co-worker, a stressed boss or bored kids, for example.
Learning to hit pause means that you can take a breath and choose to decide how you are going to respond. You will find that you’ll start to think about how your response will move you towards your goals (or further away!)
So make a choice with your daily intentions of how you are going to feel today. Don’t wait for tomorrow – pick up a pen and write it down, and then have fun with it. Maybe on Saturday you will choose to be silly and fun, and then on Monday you can come back to professional, calm and productive you.
However you do it, choose it for yourself. Don’t let anyone else decide how your day is going to go.
