I step onto the balcony of my suite at Zafiro Palace Andratx, and do a double take. 

It is my first time in Majorca and, until now, The Inbetweeners movie has been my only exposure to the Balearics’ largest island. I’d had visions of nightclub strips, an army of stag parties and an A&E with so many tourists it might as well hawk souvenirs. I’d even bought earbuds at Palma airport, convinced I’d need to muffle the sirens once darkness fell. 

Turns out they were a waste of my euros. 

Located in Camp de Mar on Majorca’s west coast, Zafiro Palace Andratx is anything but loud. 

This all-suite resort, opened in 2021 as the flagship property of Zafiro Hotels, feels time zones from the chaos of Magaluf with its rugged mountains, pine forest and aurora sea. The closest you’ll get to a club is the Golf Andratx course, and the nearest thing to clownery is a local circus. 

The resort comprises 12 blocks across different tiers, with Block 7 reserved for guests in Zafiro Club. This membership offers access to VIP facilities like a separate pool area and bar, as well as a concierge who can assist with everything from dinner reservations to spa treatments. 

Room categories here start with the Junior Suite, an open-concept space with a cosy seating area and balcony, and peak at the Owners’ Suite, which has two ensuite bedrooms, a spacious living room, hydromassage bath and private pool. 

As for the interiors, expect a minimalistic finish with warm colours and modern touches. Geometric patterns are woven into the room's bronze privacy partition and taupe bedthrow, while nature takes centre stage with wicker decor and vibrant plants. Special touches include Jo Malone Loves toiletries and a traditional Majorcan "senalla" basket, which guests are welcome to use throughout their stay. 

For dining, Zafiro Palace Andratx offers five a-la-carte restaurants, a lounge and a wet bar. International fare is served in The Market, while Mare Nostrum specialises in Mediterranean dishes. Highlights of this elegant restaurant were the vegan cannelloni, made of mushroom stuffing, almond bechamel and raw truss tomatoes, and the playful dessert menu, which features a chocolate cigar filled with Cohiba mousse. 

There’s also Tastes and Sushi Bar, where you can try Nikkei food in beaded noren coves, and La Veranda, a laid-back bistro with authentic Italian cuisine. 

Wellness-wise, the hotel offers eight swimming pools, including an infinity pool, rooftop pool and sky pool. There’s also a serene gym, where you can enjoy workout classes while overlooking the Serra de Tramuntana mountains. The spa, Opal by Germaine de Capuccini, is equally tranquil, housing a Turkish bath and sauna for relaxing after a treatment. 

On our final day, I found myself overcome by a feeling I’d never had checking out of a luxury hotel before: guilt. 

For years, I had plonked Majorca into my box of over-touristy European destinations: reserved for boozy beach days and even boozier club nights. It took just two minutes to undo this misconception and to discover that, despite everything I’d believed, this stunning island is so much more than a party hub. 

And for those also open to challenging their own biases of Majorca, Zafiro Palace Andratx is the perfect place to start.

Prices for the Zafiro Palace Andratx vary, with sample UK package deals starting around £750 per person for 4 nights and €370 per night for a Junior Suite directly from the hotel.