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Pippa Jacks checks into the new chalets at Butlin’s Minehead for one of its Live Music Weekends
If there is a more bizarre way to spend a Saturday afternoon than bobbing up and down in a wave machine at Butlin’s while Happy Mondays’ Bez shakes a tambourine on the poolside, then I am yet to hear of it.
Yes, this is definitely a pool party.
But if those words conjure up an image of sun-kissed young bodies gyrating in the Ibizan sunshine, I’d encourage you to adjust your expectations immediately.
I’m at the Shiiine On Weekender at Butlin’s Minehead, a four-day festival of indie and dance music from the late 80s and 90s, and I’ve never seen so many pale, middle-aged, northern men in swimming trunks in one place at one time (I come from the north myself, so I’m allowed to say this).
I’m a little young to be at Shiiine On – I was seven when James released Sit Down, eight when the Happy Mondays released Step On and nine when The Wonder Stuff released The Size of a Cow.
But thanks to the tastes of my eldest brother, I’ve always loved the music of this era – and we’re here this weekend to celebrate his 40th birthday.
We arrived yesterday evening after a long drive from London, checked in, and had a few drinks in our Lakeside chalets (you’re allowed to bring a litre of spirits, or equivalent, per person on to the site).
Then we headed straight for the main stage in the Skyline Pavilion in time to hear Inspiral Carpets belt out This Is How It Feels to a sea of fans in Adidas tracksuit tops and stag-do T-shirts, thrusting pints of beer in the air.
The music is spread across five venues, and once the indie bands wound down on the main stage, we moved to Jaks Bar and then Centre Stage to jump around to acts including trippy ambient house pioneers The Orb and house DJ legend Terry Farley, finally crawling home at 3am.
Our particular festival package includes Premium Dining (£25 per person per day extra), which means breakfast and dinner are included, but those in our party who have toddlers back home couldn’t resist the rare opportunity to lie in past 10.30 this morning, so we made our own breakfast while watching Saturday Kitchen undisturbed by pesky kids.
We now find ourselves at Bez’s Pool Party in Splash Waterworld, which was relatively quiet when we arrived but has gradually been filling up as last night’s casualties arise from their hangovers.
People have sneaked giant inflatable crocodiles and stag-do head-boppers in, but nobody seems to mind.
In between jigging around in the wave machine, we go on the slides and in the lazy river, and even manage to grab a selfie with Bez.
The other Shiiine-on goers might be a little more senior than me, but there is nothing old about the accommodation we’re staying in.
The new-style chalets, which opened last May, come with two, three or four bedrooms and can be Lakeside, Lakeview or Parkview.
Ours still smells brand new and features one double and one twin bedroom, a huge bathroom and an open-plan kitchen/dining/living area with a Juliet balcony overlooking the lawn.
I love the brightly coloured decor, thoughtful touches like a blackboard and chalk, the old photos and trivia about Butlin’s’ early years, and canvases printed with nostalgic quips.
There’s one in the bathroom that says: “Do your singing in the chalet as you start this happy day” (a passive-aggressive way of discouraging me from public karaoke, perhaps).
Some of the Lakeside chalets have a wooden decking terrace jutting out over the water – we could almost be on Lake Como if it wasn’t for all the Mancunian men in fishing hats and parkas looking like they’d just walked off the set of This Is England.
My only frustration is that we’re woken both mornings by the maid service (with music on until 4am, who wants clean sheets at 9am?).
I’ve always been a fan of a camping festival, but this Live Music Weekend is quickly proving that a resort-based festival has its advantages: proper toilets, hot showers and no worrying about your tent being ransacked or washed away in a river of mud.
And as one of the few women in a resort full of men, I barely ever have to queue for the loo.
Being able to pop back to your chalet for drinks and snacks means you don’t have to buy all your meals and drinks in the resort – although I somehow manage to eat fish and chips twice within a 24-hour period.
Compared with a field-based festival, there are far fewer wellies and much less face painting here (most of these blokes wouldn’t be seen dead in glitter), but the crowd is still incredibly friendly.
I’m just jealous that I can’t join in the communal reminiscing about wild nights out at Manchester’s famous nightclub The Hacienda, or seeing The Stone Roses live in 1989.
After working up an appetite at the pool party, we have dinner at The Deck, choosing from a wide range of buffet stations, including pasta and stir-fries made on request, a salad station and a roast dinner section.
I enjoy an unusual medley of roast gammon and stir-fried beef, although my vegetarian friend’s options seem limited.
Fuelled up on carbs and white wine, we get back into the Skyline for three of the biggest acts of the weekend: Peter Hook and The Light, Stereo MCs and Happy Mondays.
It’s one-in-one-out for The Clone Roses tribute band so we don’t get to see them, but Oasis UK does an admirable job of imitating the Manchester Britpop heroes, and DJs 808 State and Graeme Park keep us going until 4am.
After a lazy Sunday morning, we venture into Minehead to have a bracing stroll along the beach in the sunshine before heading home.
On our way out of the resort, there is a sign warning people against urination, drugs and not behaving “in a way that makes your mother proud”, which is perhaps a sign some music weekends are more feisty than others.
But at Shiiine On, at least, it doesn’t seem like too many people are going totally “mad-fer-it”.
They’re all far too worried about having to deal with the kids on a hangover when they get home.
Shiine On Weekender is back on November 11-14, 2016 and will feature Echo & The Bunnymen, Shed Seven and The Wonder Stuff, among others.
A three-night Shiiine On Weekender break at Butlin’s Minehead resort costs from £199pp, based on up to four people sharing a Silver Apartment, and up to £319 for four sharing a chalet with Premium Dining.
Agents can also get up to 20% off the best fare for their own holidays with Butlin’s.
There are nine Specialist Live Music Weekends, including:
Also check out frequent themed music weekends such as 90s Reloaded; We Love the 70s; and Disco Inferno.
See bigweekends.com/the-weekends for full listings.
